thinking a little about marriage

So I have been married for two years now. Its strange for me to think that I have been married that "long", mainly because when I picture myself in my head, I am still just some kid--entering college or something. In reality, I am almost 29, which is almost 30, and many people my age have been married for 5-8 years by now.

Its been a fast two years. Between both of us getting jobs, our friends getting married, having babies, there are many things to keep us occupied, namely that my wife and I honestly have fun with each other. We laugh at the same things. We enjoy the same music, shows. We were not the marrying opposites sort of people. What has been most interesting is how we have naturally (somewhat) made each other better people.

I heard a person say, who probably heard it from someone else, that when two Christians marry each other, it is like they are marrying a large mirror, that painfully shows all the imperfections, scars, and sins that each other holds within themselves. This has proven most true. I never thought myself as selfish...until I was married. Then I keenly became aware of just how much I enjoyed getting my way, and just how used to getting my way I was. I have seen how manipulative I can be; how I can turn an argument (where I am wrong, grossly wrong) back around and inflict guilt and confusion by the manipulation and arraignments of words and inflections. I am the false martyr. I act like the bigger man when in reality I am only motivated by trying to make my own wife look bad.

I know this is true for my wife too. Its amazing that we love each other deeply, and yet without even meaning to, we can cause each other to feel very bad about ourselves. But this is part of the process, of both marriage and growing closer to Christ. To be burnt up, refined away, until something better, more sustaining and beautiful is left. We are just in the smoky, ashy point right now. The future will be better because of it.