Lie like a rug on a floor

I have taught high school for 7 years now. Before that I worked youth camps, and with youth groups at churches, etc. I know kids lie. I know that sometimes they lie, how most adults casually tell the time, or make a brief comment on the nice weather. So, I can't say I am shocked when my kids lie to me about piddly little things. But, I can't say that it doesn't bother me. I guess I should feel good, that my opinion of them matters to them, so they lie thinking that this will keep me from thinking badly of them. It isn't only kids of mine who do this. I am sure we all have a friend, or a family member who lies to us to keep the status quo ,and we simply breath an awkward sigh, or close our eyes slowly, deliberately as we listen to it slip through their lips. I guess what bothers me about it, is that when we lie to those we are close to, it drives a wedge between us. Without us knowing it we are placing barriers that keep us from relating to one another, keep us from helping one another. The conversations become more stuttered, less frequent. We find excuses to ignore and walk away.

I know my kids lie to me about drinking, doing drugs, slutting around because they know I won't approve. They probably worry I would tell their parents, and I maybe would. But it is such an empty feeling that lingers when someone we care about lies to us. That emptiness shovels out a hole inside us and wallows in it. It makes us question the motives, the moments prior we have spent with these people. It makes the relationship (no matter platonic, romantic, etc) seem cheap and false.

It is also so disheartening because I think we want so much for those we care about. I know that I want so much for my kids. I see them and think that they are so much more talented and capable than I was at their age, but they often seem so content to settle for mediocrity, rather than push for something meaningful and inspired. They would rather get drunk, than feel or deal with the emptiness inside them. They would rather be with the hateful girl or guy instead of learning how to be alone. It's as if they can't see the forest for the trees. If they could only see farther, out past the mire and muck of their now, past the thickets, the trash heaps, the burnt edges of their life, to what lies out there for them. If they could see the beauty in the process, the beauty in the possible and unknown, then maybe they would be willing to do the work to build something more sustainable for themselves, even if it was different, uneasy at first. I guess this is a little of what God feels for us, while watching us fumble and meander our way to him...a brief wisp of the worry and disappointment we surely cause.

So I hope we all have the courage to tell the truth, and tell it straight...not slanted. That we can all own up to the things we do, the struggles we battle with, the pure hedonism we revel in. At least then it is out there on the table, with the potential to be dealt with. otherwise it is just like the empty noise of a bag rustling in the wind...meaningless and trite.