A New Idea for Hallmark

I have lost a friend, a good friend. He isn't dead, or moved, or incapacitated. There was no fight, no moment where words were exchanged or damage done. There was no long drifting apart as our families and jobs pulled us in different directions. It was more so simply as if one day we were friends, and then the next we were not, without any discussion, argument, or agreement between him and I.

And that is always awkward, breaking up with friends, or in my case being dumped by friends. There isn't any protocol for it; there aren't whole sections of books devoted to it. I have been married for almost six years, to a woman I dated for 3 years prior to that. So, needless to say it has been a long time since I have broken up with someone, or been dumped, but I remember enough to understand that unreturned texts, unanswered calls, and the dreaded "un-friend" on Facebook equate to such.

The awkwardness for me comes from the lack of any defining moment when the split occurred. I am a deal with it type of person. I can handle being removed, replaced, rerouted, but I don't do well with loose ends. So how does one deal with this? Life is complicated and ever changing. I get that we sometimes out grow people, or need to make changes in our life, and that sometimes our friends will be the collateral damage of those decisions. But don't we owe it to people to be honest and tell them that is what is happening. Take me to dinner, make me feel fancy, give me the ole "it's not you, it's me" line, or even be blunt, call me annoying, needy, whatever. Maybe Hallmark should make cards for this sort of thing. It would make it easier on all of us. They could right 3 stanza little poems that end with lines like " Roses are red, violets are blue, we were once great friends, but now we're through". Then everyone could simply pack up and move forward, without having to make excuses or putting one's phone on airplane mode.

I won't lie and say I don't miss this friend, because I do. He was a good friend. And I won't lie and say that I haven't been pissed off about this, because I have been. But more than anything, I have simply been confused by this; I feel like (at least how I imagine )  some dog that's been dropped off in the Walmart parking lot, zigging and zagging to every redneck with a cart trying to figure out what happened to the one who brought me. Am I this pitiful, that at almost 33 I can get dumped and not even know it? Where is Carrie Bradshaw when I need her?

So, I suppose this is my closure, this is my dealing with it. I was hesitant about writing this blog, but what is the point of my faith and my life if I can't live it honestly and openly--my feelings get hurt; my ego gets bruised; I get confused. These are all truths that may make me seem less "butch" or may rob me of my "man card," but so be it. I can only hope that, if in the future I must cut a friend loose, that I will have the courage and funds to take them to a nice dinner first.