Friend Zone is for Cowards and Liars

(Inspired by the life of Jacob Kerr)

Friend zone has become a very popular term that every generation of kids acts like is their own. Sorry young'ns, we said "friend zone" back in my day on the Hill at Western, circa 1999. However, the essence of friend zone is still the same. "Why risk the beauty of your friendship by dating?" "You mean too much to me to date?" And you know, on the surface, the theory and all its rationalization sounds good. When the face of your beloved texts you these platitudes, or leans against the locker and bats their eyes at you while explaining the benefits of only being a friend, you walk away superficially convinced that they are right, and that this friend zone is a good idea. Some poor guys can actually interpret this as a subliminal sign that the person actually likes them.

But here is the truth. Friend zone is for cowards and liars--for people too scared to have to act real in a relationship, who would rather play the part of girlfriend or boyfriend they see played out tirelessly for them on shows like Pretty Little Liars and Teen Wolf. If you have good friends, they know when you are being real. They call you on your crap. They give you good advice, and they look out for your best interest. They understand you. They listen to your problems, and they lift you up when you are feeling down. It's funny how many of you kids seem to reject these qualities as being not what you want in a relationship. By my observation of hallways and classrooms, many of you (despite what you would argue) want drama, tears, awkward glances, groping, a partner who is good at keeping you jealous and off guard. Or if you are a guy, you want a girl your friends think is hot, or one who you think will eagerly jump at the chance to get in your pants.  

And if you aren't coward, then maybe you are just telling a lie and believing a lie. Saying a friendship is too important to risk dating is a great cover up that guys and gals can tell someone, who honestly, they just aren't that into. And the great thing about this lie, is that it actually makes the other person feel wanted, which means the person telling the lie can continue copying homework of the "friend", running to him or her every time some love interest is mean to this liar, getting rides to ballgames, etc. GUYS AND GIRLS if they say you are just friends, stop buying them Sonic. Friends tell friends the truth, they don't buy conies and slushies for each other. If being in the friend zone is hurting your wallet, then you are not that persons best friend, you are a meal ticket and a set of wheels.

The other truth is, that many of you all aren't capable of handling the sort of relationship that comes with dating your friend. The emotions are deeper, richer, more established, and more complex. You can't get away with being fake, and you can't get away with playing games. But what you can have is a relationship that may actually prepare you for adulthood. A relationship which reveals that you can be the worst version of yourself, and someone will still care about you. You might have a relationship that gets interpreted by others as "boring" because you spend more time getting along, than you do making accusations against one another. Friends are kind, supportive, fun to be with. Good friendships are easy. What about this seems so bad in a relationship?

My marriage is obviously a product of the "friend-zone", and I told and believed all the same lies that I just discussed. I am thankful everyday, that I finally learned the simple lesson: Good friends often make great partners. Learn it now kids--save yourselves the time.